


Three in One

by CelesteFitzgerald



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, does this count as a soulmate au?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 15:19:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15075983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelesteFitzgerald/pseuds/CelesteFitzgerald
Summary: Most people are born with three names tattooed on their wrist: their true love, their biggest enemy, and their greatest ally. Heinz only has one name.





	Three in One

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Most people are born with three names tattooed on their wrist: Their true love, their biggest enemy, and their greatest ally. You only have one name.

“Father,” Heinz asked while pointing at his wrist, “what do these words say?” For years, he had wondered what the mysterious words written across his wrist meant, and he couldn’t wait any longer to find out. He tried to hold his arm steady so his father could read it, but it was difficult when he was shivering so hard; he had just come inside from his job as the lawn gnome.

His father must not have heard him, so he asked again. “And why does Roger’s wrist have more words than mine?”

“Mother never told you?” chimed in Roger through a mouthful of his breakfast as their father left the kitchen altogether. Heinz’s stomach rumbled when he saw Roger’s food.

“No. She told you?”

“Mm-hm. A long time ago.” Of course. She always told him everything first.

“What does it say?” Heinz asked as he took a seat in the chair next to his brother, hoping that his father wouldn’t come back into the room and yell at him for it.

Roger put down his spoon and wiped his mouth. He held out his wrist toward Heinz. “It has three names. One of them is your true love, one is your worst enemy, and one is your…um…”

“Greatest ally,” their mother finished as she joined them in the kitchen.

“Woah.” Heinz flipped his hand over to look at the words on his wrist, amazed that those tiny scribbles could tell him so much about his future. “What do my names say, Mother?”

Pursing her lips, she walked over to the counter to start washing dishes. “You only have one, Heinz.”

Heinz squinted at his wrist. “I have one? Roger said I had three.”

She huffed. “No. Roger has three. You have one.”

“…Why?”

“If you don’t have a true love or a greatest ally, there’s only one name left to write.”

Heinz rubbed at his wrist. Surely the other names were there. They must just be hiding. “I don’t have a true love?”

His mother turned to look at him. “Why would you?”

She walked out of the room. Roger continued eating his breakfast.

That was okay. Heinz didn’t really want to talk about it anymore anyway.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Heinz lay outside in the dirt with a textbook propped open, holding his wrist next to the pages. If no one would pay enough attention to him to tell him what the name on his wrist said he’d figure it out himself.

He managed to figure out the first two words easily enough. “Perry” was a nice name; it really rolled off the tongue. _Perry. Perrrrrry._ Heinz made sure not to say the name above a whisper. He didn’t want to disturb his parents and make them come outside to scold him.

“The” was even easier. But also a bit confusing. Heinz wasn’t used to hearing names with “the” in the middle. His future enemy must be really unique. He liked that.

The last word, however…this one took time. He still wasn’t entirely sure he was saying “Plate-ee-pooz” correctly, but the word looked so cool that he was too excited to care. Was it normal to be this excited to meet his enemy?

When he heard the front door and his father’s footsteps he shut Roger’s book, trying to brush some of the dirt off of it—and off of himself. But he couldn’t resist looking at his wrist once more with a smile. _I’ll be waiting for you, Perry the Plate-ee-pooz. Whoever you are._

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It was so cold.

Heinz tried not to move as another gust of wind blew through his thin lawn gnome outfit. But it was so hard. Especially when he couldn’t feel his feet. Or his hands. Or even his cheeks, now that the tears had frozen in place, making it even colder.

He looked down, careful to only move his eyes, not his head. He didn’t remember his fingers being that color. It looked almost…beautiful. Matching more closely to the blue of his shirt.

The wind blew again, pushing up the end of his sleeve slightly. The name (which he could now correctly read as _Perry the Platypus_ ) was barely visible against the bluish tint of his skin. It was much harder to tell that there was only one.

As the color kept spreading, the name kept fading.

Then the pain faded as well.

Heinz wished he had spent more time enjoying the beautiful colors. They weren’t beautiful anymore.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Flexing his new fingers, Heinz couldn’t help but notice how empty his new wrist was. Apparently the world thought that even _one_ name was too many for _him_.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Heinz was walking out of the photo store when he felt like he was being watched. He spun around to look at the mailbox, just barely catching a glimpse of a brown fedora and…what kind of looked like a bill?

He gasped slightly. He had his own nemesis! Finally, the Tri-State Area recognized him as the threat that he was and had sent an agent—a duck? maybe?—to stop him.

It wasn’t until later at his apartment, when he was about to fire his Inator and his new nemesis burst in through the door, that he finally put the pieces together.

“P-Perry the Platypus?” He said automatically, the name still engrained in his memory long after he had lost his first arm.

Perry the Platypus froze, his eyes narrowed in confusion. Eventually he pulled a small business card from his hat and handed it to Heinz.

Not that he really needed it. Right there in bold, teal letters were those same three words he had spent so much time staring at.

Despite the fact that Perry the Platypus was only at his apartment to thwart his scheme, Heinz couldn’t help but smile.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Can I see your wrist?” Heinz couldn’t stop himself from blurting out the question just as Perry the Platypus was about to leave one day. Curiosity had finally gotten the better of him.

Perry the Platypus turned around to look at Heinz, his eyes wide.

“Yes, I know, I was supposed to say ‘Curse you, Perry the Platypus’ now, but I’ve always wondered. Do platypi have the names on their wrist too? Hmm, but I guess it would be hard to _see_ them, you know, with all the _fur_ …”

When Heinz paused and waited, Perry the Platypus slowly raised his arm toward him, still on guard.

Heinz knelt down and took his paw, running his fingers over the soft fur of his wrist. He began to explain what the three different names meant, as he brushed his thumb back and forth, looking for any sign of words hiding underneath.

“…although you probably already knew what all the names mean, didn’t you?”

As Heinz switched to his other wrist, Perry the Platypus nodded, not taking his eyes off of Heinz’s hands.

“Why is your fur so _dense_ , Perry the Platypus? It’s impossible to see anything. At least it makes it extra-fluffy—oh, don’t give me that look, Mr. Tough Guy. You’re fluffy, accept it. Hmm, it doesn’t look like you have any names under here—but that’s probably just because of the fur. It wouldn’t be _fair_ if you didn’t have a true love or a worst enemy just because you’re a _platypus_.”

Finally letting go of his paw, Heinz stood up. “Well, that’s that. Curse you, Perry the Platypus, and all that.” When he didn’t move, Heinz added, “What? Do you need me to _yell_ it? _Curse you, Perry the Platypus!_ ”

Giving him a slight grin and a thumbs-up, Perry the Platypus glanced quickly at Heinz’s wrist before taking off and leaving Heinz by himself.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Heinz turned around when he heard a small cough behind him. “Perry the Platypus, you’re still here? You finished thwarting me already, see?” He tapped his hand against the pile of rubble that had once been his Inator.

“What’s going on, Perry the Platypus? You’ve been acting strange ever since we got lost in the desert together last week. Explain yourself.” Heinz crossed his arms and waited.

Perry the Platypus looked away for a minute, wringing his hands. Then he stepped forward, lightly turned over Heinz’s arm, and brushed a thumb over the smooth surface of his wrist.

“Oh.” That certainly wasn’t what Heinz was expecting. Not that he was really expecting anything in particular. “You’re not going to find anything,” he said, matter-of-factly.

Perry the Platypus just nodded, lightly knocking his fist against the metal of his arm.

Oh, right. Heinz had forgotten that he had told Perry the Platypus about his arms last week. Honestly, Heinz couldn’t believe he had never mentioned it to him earlier.

Still, Perry the Platypus didn’t let go.

“You want to know what it used to say? That’s an awfully personal question, isn’t it? You’re lucky you’re my worst enemy, otherwise I wouldn’t tell you.” Upon seeing the widened eyes staring back at him, Heinz added, “That’s right, you’re my worst enemy. Your name was there.”

Perry the Platypus nodded and waited.

“…That’s it.”

Cocking his head, Perry the Platypus still waited.

Heinz sighed. “I only had _one_ , okay? Just ‘Perry the Platypus,’” he muttered. Perry the Platypus sure was _nosy_ today, wasn’t he?

After a moment of silence, Perry the Platypus let out a small gasp—then he had the nerve to _smile_ and try to place his paw in Heinz’s hand.

“I don’t need your _pity_ ,” Heinz said, pulling his hand away. “I hadn’t thought about my _one_ name in a long time, but you just _had_ to find a way to rub it in my face that I don’t have a true love or greatest ally, didn’t you?”

Heinz turned away and stormed off to his bedroom before he could see whatever it was that Perry the Platypus was frantically trying to tell him.

“I guess this is just more proof that you really _are_ my worst enemy.” He slammed the door shut.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Grumbling to himself, Heinz threw open his bedroom door to see who was making all that noise. It was probably Norm again. After that awful encounter with Perry the Platypus a few hours ago, Heinz did _not_ want to listen to Norm clambering about the apartment.

“Norm, what do you think you’re—oh.”

Standing there by the front door was Perry the Platypus, holding something behind his back.

Heinz narrowed his eyes. “It’s _you_. And look, you actually bothered to use the door this time. You’re just _full_ of surprises today, aren’t you?”

Perry the Platypus took a cautious step forward and held out a tray of almond brittle.

Did Perry the Platypus really think that would work? Heinz wouldn’t forgive him _that_ easily.

…Then again, he did love almond brittle….

After glaring at Perry the Platypus for a moment, Heinz gave in and took the tray. “Fine. Apology accepted. For someone who’s supposed to be my worst enemy, you make it _really_ hard to stay mad at you sometimes.”

He grabbed a piece of almond brittle and took a bite. Then another bite. “This is _good_ , where did you get it so fast?”

Giving Heinz one of his typical smirks, Perry the Platypus just shrugged.

Heinz sat down at the kitchen table, and Perry the Platypus soon joined him. “You know,” he began, “I really am glad you’re my worst enemy. You’re always there for me to fight, you let me finish my backstories before you break out of your traps. I’ve even started to think of you as…well, let’s just say that only having one name doesn’t feel as bad when you’re around.” He smiled through another bite of almond brittle.

Smiling back, Perry the Platypus placed his paw over Heinz’s hand—

“Oh! How could I forget? Here I am going _on_ and _on_ and _on_ about only having one name when you don’t even have _any_. I still don’t think that’s fair….”

Suddenly Heinz’s eyes widened. “You know what?” He stood up and rushed to the other side of the apartment to grab a few things. When he was finished, he returned to the table with a small loop of paper and slid it onto Perry the Platypus’ wrist.

“There. It’s, um, a bit low-quality right now, but it’s still something.”

Heinz watched as Perry the Platypus looked over his new bracelet. It was blank except for two words: _Heinz Doofenshmirtz_.

“Now you _officially_ have your worst enemy, too. And there’s a blank space at the top and bottom for you to add a true love and greatest ally, if you want to.”

Perry the Platypus froze. Then he reached up and took off his hat, pulling out a pen.

Heinz watched in silence as Perry the Platypus started slowly writing. His paw was shaking slightly, and he was positioned so that the individual letters were just out of Heinz’s line of sight.

When he finished, he took a deep breath, put the pen away, and replaced the hat on top of his head. Then he held out his wrist to Heinz.

Holding onto his paw, Heinz leaned in to read.

He wasn’t prepared for what he saw. In clear, unmistakable letters, it said:

 _Heinz Doofenshmirtz_  
_Heinz Doofenshmirtz_  
 _Heinz Doofenshmirtz_

As Heinz read and reread Perry the Platypus’ handwriting, he couldn’t believe it had taken him so long to see what had been right there the whole time.

“You—you mean that?” he whispered.

Perry the Platypus smiled and squeezed Heinz’s hand.

Heinz couldn’t help the few tears that fell onto his cheeks. After all that time, it had never even occurred to him that there might be another explanation for why he only had one name. But now it seemed so obvious. _It’s him. Everything has always been him._

He stood up and reached out to Perry the Platypus, lifting him into tight hug. “Thank you, Perry the Platypus.”

When Perry the Platypus chirred in response, Heinz felt the vibrations against his chest. It felt so warm.

In that moment, Heinz had no idea why anyone would want to find three different names written across their wrist. One was so much better.  

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to revenblue for giving me the most Perryshmirtz prompt ever <3


End file.
